Mr. Murphy, I loathe you!

You ever work on a project, doesnt matter what kind of project it is, its a simple straight forward project, a monkey with one hand on a tool and the other on a bananna could pull it off and you're constantly hit with problems? Thats the story of the laundry room bathroom sink so far.

It started last wednesday night, we had gone and picked up a new sink and faucet and all the supply lines and drain fittings we needed (or so I had thought) and I went home to get it done.

I got the old bracket off the wall from the previous gross nasty sink and mounted the new bracket, so far so good. That went pretty quick and I started to fill my head with thoughts of crossing one more project off the list, I was happier than a cat high on catnip.

I grab the sink and go to put the faucet on it and realize, hey, theres no drain fitting in this thing. No biggie, I'll go grab one in the morning and be done with it. So we go and pick up a new faucet, this one comes with a drain fitting also, score! And it looks nicer than the plain jane one we had picked out. So off we go, head home and put on the new faucet and the drain fitting. Get that all done and go to throw the sink on the wall. The lag bolts that came with the sink wont self start, so I decide that I'll use the molly bolts that came with the sink thinking for sure that theres no stud mounted horizontally behind the wall where the sink is going. So I grab the molly bolts and go to test them out on the sink...they wont go thru the holes in the porcelin to hold the unit to the wall. Now besides the fact that these came with the sink, why the hell dont they fit the holes they are intened to go into!? Oh well, yet again, not a problem, just go to the Depot and pick up a few molly bolts. Do I bother to measure the holes on the sink to make sure I get the right ones? Hell no, thats for sissies and girls, men dont measure "its about as wide as my pinky, that will work" Oh boy. I get home, try them out, sure enough...to big...damnit all to hell this sink sucks ass! Ok, lets dry fit the supply lines too and get that part done...son of a bitch these arent the right damned lines either! ARGH!!! Ok, so we get to kill 2 birds with one stone with the next trip to the Depot, thats called proper time management. So, get the new and improved, and much smaller molly bolts, new supply lines, and head home. Supply lines go on like a glove, cool, progress at last! Now, lets drill the holes for the molly bolts to slip in and get this thing done...What the fu...theres a stud behind the sheetrock running horizontally, whoosh whoosh whoosh go the molly bolts flying across the laundry room. So I pre drill some holes for the lag bolts to go into and get Crystal to help me hold the thing up in the air while I tighten down the bolts. Needless to say, the space behind the sink in which you have to work with is not only filled with the supply lines coming out of the faucet that are copper pipe and unmoveable, but its also only about the width of a good book. So I can only get about a 1/4 turn into the bolt before I have to reset the open ended wrench since a damned socket wrench wont get up in there to get the job done. So 20 minutes go by putting in 2 bolts, the sucker is secured to the wall, supply lines are hooked up, lets hook up the drain line....Oh no f'ing way! the drain lines coming off the sink are 1-1/4 inches wide, and the line going into the wall is 1-3/4 inches wide...kiss my beep, you stupid beep sucking beeper beeper I cant beeping belive this beep!!! Ok, I'll go to the Depot, again, in the morning and get the reducer so I can finally be done with this thing. Of course they dont have anything like that back near the sinks and other drain line stuff, no thats up in the actual plumbing section. So I find that isle and what do you know, theres actually an employee down there that knows what hes talking about, nevermind the fact that he has so much grease in his hair he has to stay away from open flames, he gets me the parts that I need and off I go. I get home from work tonight, Crystal leaves for work, Elliot is sleeping, so I go in and finish the sink. Now the reducer makes the drain stick out so far the drain line coming off the sink doesnt line up with it anymore, its off by about a half an inch! So I bounce out of the bathroom like a fat kid playing dodge ball, and have yet to return again to the Depot in the morning so I can get a flexible drain pipe and be done with it once and for all. I'm going to bed now, reliving this tale was almost enough to drive me to drinking! I think I'll get by on some diet cherry pepsi though :)

The morale of the story? Hire a freaking plumber, they get paid to think of all this crap in advance!